Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I've blown a few things in my day
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
