Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
