i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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