You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
