But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
