he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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