i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
