i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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