I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
