It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
