Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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