apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
