Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
