$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
