Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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