oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
