I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
