put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
