Apparently you make a good broom.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you would pick up someone in the library
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
