Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
