Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You smell like stripper and shame
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
