I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
