My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
We just shotgunned beers for America
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
