I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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