sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
