let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Please don't give away my fajitas
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
