Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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