its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize