god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
