I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize