ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
