before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize