proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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