I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
