I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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