Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
