Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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