hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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