The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
