we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
