so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
