these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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