I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
ttyl tear gas
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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