At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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