So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
