dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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