He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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