If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
