VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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