I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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