Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
