I bet he comes in French.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
