we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
