wat bout pragnant strippers??
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
