This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
