Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
