Who wears a wallet chain?!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
