literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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