Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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