Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
